A Tall People's Convention at Lil' Creatures, Perth

G'day tall folk and fellow travellers,

Well it's been a while, I'm dusting down my extra-long virtual pen, after an inspirational meeting of the vertically-blessed on the weekend.
I was invited via Facebook and Kate O'Sullivan to a meeting of the Perth Tall Women's Club, and men from the Tall Men's Club, at a soiree at Little Creatures in Freo.
It was indeed an appropriate venue for such a rendez-vous, as the cavernous site encompassing brewing apparatus and extra high ceilings married nicely to our desire for head room aplenty.
About 25 of us met and chewed the fat, with Qantas's recent plans to add a surcharge to the emergency exit row seats a hot topic of conversation.
Trevor, the founder of the Tall Men's Club of Perth, told me he had generated some publicity highlighting the discriminatory nature of this pathetically small-minded move by our native airline, and good on him for fighting the good fight.
Yummy Lil' Critters beers, wine and tucker were purchased and much fun was had by all, hopefully those who received the offer of TPLF membership will take it up and join the posse of extraordinary large shoe sizes...
So if I met you on the night and you're reading this, email the TPLF at tallplf@gmail.com. Remember, all you need is to be 5'9" for a woman, or 6'4" for a man and NOT play basketball to join.
As presiding officer of the TPLF I predict this will be the first of many fun times to be had amongst les gens grands de Perth into the future...keep your eyes peeled for more events in the future!

The TPLF welcomes 2 new members from the Toucan, Kingston, Ontario

After casting our net far and wide and into the far flung reaches of humanity, I am pleased to say that the TPLF recruitment drive is continuing apace. It has only taken me five months of hard slog, but finally the dividends are there for all to see and we have 2 new members on board, with a third waiting in the wings, with his official height in cm the only thing holding up his TPLF membership.
So, without further ado, I would like to warmly welcome Tom McCulloch, erstwhile doorman at the Toucan Irish pub and all-round top bloke, and Anne Kloosterman, sometime Touc barmaid, engineer and one hell of an advertisement for Dutch-Canadian coagulation, to our humble organisation. We are just waiting on another doorman and top fella, Trevor Runnels, to submit his height to the adjudication team (ie me) and then our organisation will be all the more richer, and taller for that matter.
I encourage any of you tall folk out there who have a distate for all things basketball to jump on board the elongated train, and come and join the fun! Also, all members, new or otherwise are encouraged to submit your experiences of putting up with the shortcomings of living in a world designed for mediocre short people. Just send them to tallplf@gmail.com.

Yours,

Jona Turle esq.
Supreme Dictator for Life
TPLF

The TPLF is making headway in Canada

Greetings fellow talls and all,

After much gnawing and gnashing of teeth, the TPLF is finally up and running in North America. Soon, oh my pretties, our numbers will swell to unbelievable levels - I'll wager we'll double our stocks within weeks.
Yes, my lovelies, my dreams of world domination are now falling nicely into place...you don't have to be 6'4" to see above and beyond this cloud of infinite horizons...
So gather up your XXL spunky clothes and hop in the bandwagon folks. This is going to be one hell of a ride...next stop on the TPLF world tour for this particular Supreme Dictator is Quebec, then Europe - and I hear there are tall people crawling all over the place!
And please - post some updates of your own experiences living it large...we need more comments and feedback to get this baby movin'...
Get a Mountie up ya!
Jona Turle esq.
Canadian correspondent

A tall chick joins from the low countries...

I'd like to welcome with open elongated arms our first female TPLF member...

Je vous presente Katrien 'Kat' Timmermans...

She is, in her own words...

female (but wearing trousers at times) - hate basketball - always being asked in supermarkets to take the cereal box from the upper shelf - find kitchen benches annoyingly low built - heaps of other tall people frustrations - want to join TPLF and am keen on crossing swords with the small people world and fight for my rights.

Firstly - we can overlook the wearing of trousers, as I know you and know that you (being Belgian) would never in your right mind wear them with a tucked in shirt in a German manner...
Since you qualify for the TPLF above and beyond in every other way:

On behalf of all TPLF Supreme Dictators, I'd like to welcome you, Kat, to the Dictator club for tall people. A free t-shirt is only the beginning of your reward...

Sincerely,

Jona Turle esq.

At the bookstore...

from TPLF blogger Pete the Greek.

Allow me to share one story with you:
I was a young man in my home country of Greece, perusing the shelves of a bookstore.
This minute 70-yr old douchebag, all 1m60 of him walks up to me and asks me to hand him a book from the top shelf.
I move to help him out but he says: "Hahahaha ! Tall people are the servants of short ones !"
I simply replied: "Oh yeah, f...k you !" and walked off.
My ways have been tamed over the past 20 years but I still find short folks annoying and I always do appreciate a female 5'9'' or taller...

Pete Diamessis esq.
TPLF Supreme Dictator for Life

The ups and downs of being tall...

By TPLF blogger Bret House esq.

I suppose that at this time of year I have a real concern for sleeve lengths on jackets, jumpers etc.
Some considerations could be made for low hung signage (Subi markets springs to mind).
Perhaps a designated height restiction could apply... all signage must be a minimum of 2.5 metres from the ground - so "we" don't get a sore neck and look like a goose ducking under things all the time.

Mirror placements in change rooms/toilets etc could also be looked at - I for one am tired of bowing/crouching to check how that new jacket looks (even though you already know the sleeves will be too short!), or to check your hair at the pub etc...unacceptable!

Bret House
TPLF Supreme Dictator for Life

Watch out...short people are sneaky!

TPLF blogger Ash Jennings esq. provides this startling new info:

We must stay informed to limit the short infiltration !!
Here are some alarming facts about shorties using cosmetic surgery to bypass height restrictions! (c/o Wikipedia): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_height (see Sumo wrestling)

Sumo

Professional sumo wrestlers are required to be at least 173 cm (5' 8") tall. Some aspiring sumo athletes have silicon implants added to the tops of their heads to reach the necessary height.^[87] The average height for a sumo wrestler is 180 cm, far above the national average in Japan.

Ash: I must say I am shocked and against the admittance of any "fake" Tallies. These short people are tricky and seem to be stooping to ever lower depths ( yes pun intended! :^).

Ash Jennings esq.
TPLF Supreme Dictator for Life

Who can join the tall people's liberation front?

In order to be taken seriously as a lobby group, sadly some height restrictions must apply for potential TPLF members. While this may seem elitist, the reality is we are better than you - because we're taller.
Therefore, it is with due solemnity that I hereby decree the cut-off points for TPLF members:

For Men - 193cm or 6'4"

and in the interests of greater harmony between tall men and women, and because the tall male founders of the TPLF want someone to dance with:

For Women - 175cm or 5'9"

Yours sincerely,

Jona Turle esq.

Tall People's Liberation Front Charter

1. Thou shall be tall without artificial help - ie silicon implants are not accepted - see Ash's post
2. Thou shall not play basketball
3. Thou shall not strut around in German looking attire (ie collared shirts tucked into neat pants).
4. Thou shall not participate in dubious religions (ie all).
5. Thou shall participate in the global fight for basic human rights:
- Doorways of reasonable height.
- Enough leg and head room on public transport, in cars and aeroplanes and the like.
- Bench tops should not make you bend over, because bending over is not advisable.
- Clothes should be made available in reasonably large sizes for reasonable prices (and not just be crappy smart casual designs for stupid money - ie Kingsize Menswear in Australia).

- more to follow

Sincerely,

Jona Turle esq.