At the bookstore...

from TPLF blogger Pete the Greek.

Allow me to share one story with you:
I was a young man in my home country of Greece, perusing the shelves of a bookstore.
This minute 70-yr old douchebag, all 1m60 of him walks up to me and asks me to hand him a book from the top shelf.
I move to help him out but he says: "Hahahaha ! Tall people are the servants of short ones !"
I simply replied: "Oh yeah, f...k you !" and walked off.
My ways have been tamed over the past 20 years but I still find short folks annoying and I always do appreciate a female 5'9'' or taller...

Pete Diamessis esq.
TPLF Supreme Dictator for Life

The ups and downs of being tall...

By TPLF blogger Bret House esq.

I suppose that at this time of year I have a real concern for sleeve lengths on jackets, jumpers etc.
Some considerations could be made for low hung signage (Subi markets springs to mind).
Perhaps a designated height restiction could apply... all signage must be a minimum of 2.5 metres from the ground - so "we" don't get a sore neck and look like a goose ducking under things all the time.

Mirror placements in change rooms/toilets etc could also be looked at - I for one am tired of bowing/crouching to check how that new jacket looks (even though you already know the sleeves will be too short!), or to check your hair at the pub etc...unacceptable!

Bret House
TPLF Supreme Dictator for Life

Watch out...short people are sneaky!

TPLF blogger Ash Jennings esq. provides this startling new info:

We must stay informed to limit the short infiltration !!
Here are some alarming facts about shorties using cosmetic surgery to bypass height restrictions! (c/o Wikipedia): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_height (see Sumo wrestling)

Sumo

Professional sumo wrestlers are required to be at least 173 cm (5' 8") tall. Some aspiring sumo athletes have silicon implants added to the tops of their heads to reach the necessary height.^[87] The average height for a sumo wrestler is 180 cm, far above the national average in Japan.

Ash: I must say I am shocked and against the admittance of any "fake" Tallies. These short people are tricky and seem to be stooping to ever lower depths ( yes pun intended! :^).

Ash Jennings esq.
TPLF Supreme Dictator for Life

Who can join the tall people's liberation front?

In order to be taken seriously as a lobby group, sadly some height restrictions must apply for potential TPLF members. While this may seem elitist, the reality is we are better than you - because we're taller.
Therefore, it is with due solemnity that I hereby decree the cut-off points for TPLF members:

For Men - 193cm or 6'4"

and in the interests of greater harmony between tall men and women, and because the tall male founders of the TPLF want someone to dance with:

For Women - 175cm or 5'9"

Yours sincerely,

Jona Turle esq.

Tall People's Liberation Front Charter

1. Thou shall be tall without artificial help - ie silicon implants are not accepted - see Ash's post
2. Thou shall not play basketball
3. Thou shall not strut around in German looking attire (ie collared shirts tucked into neat pants).
4. Thou shall not participate in dubious religions (ie all).
5. Thou shall participate in the global fight for basic human rights:
- Doorways of reasonable height.
- Enough leg and head room on public transport, in cars and aeroplanes and the like.
- Bench tops should not make you bend over, because bending over is not advisable.
- Clothes should be made available in reasonably large sizes for reasonable prices (and not just be crappy smart casual designs for stupid money - ie Kingsize Menswear in Australia).

- more to follow

Sincerely,

Jona Turle esq.